Remembering our Engagement

All the memories that are making this the most special time of my life.

You can do everything… just not all at once.

on April 4, 2012

So this is when I explain away the fact that I haven’t written in a bit. In taking inventory of my life when we got engaged, I had so many priorities and things on my plate that I didn’t know what to do. Being the consultant that I am – and I know that you have a love/hate relationship with those qualities – I took inventory of all of them and looked to see what role, if any, they could and should play in my increasingly busy life. I put together a mock schedule to illustrate to myself that there was, in fact, time for everything… if I was focused, and reasonable in my expectations.

Sunday was an us day. We woke up and had a good conversation about our relationship, how we interact, how we want us to be. I got a lot out of it and, although I know this wasn’t either of our favorite thing to do first thing on a Sunday, I think it taught us a lot about each other. I also cooked and put away food for the week, another element in my priorities. So I only had a few minutes to write.

Monday I worked out. Priority list – check. You had a terrible headache, and though you asked to come by  I told you to head home to get some rest instead of coming over and offered to come over later. Somehow we ended up with a little tension, but you dropped by anyway and it was incredibly sweet. I was sort of ruffled by our bit of tension on the phone, and you left. I called you to express how I felt. You expressed yourself too. We told each other we understood each other, and even appreciated each other for what we had intended to say, despite it causing some tension.

A few minutes later, my bell rang again. It was you there, saying you wanted to come over after all. I know I didn’t go into much detail on our little point of tension, and anyway you were there. But the point is that we quickly diffused any tension by showing we cared about each others’ views, and acknowledged what each person wanted appreciation for. And that is why you felt you wanted to come back over, something that wouldn’t have happened in other eras of us. To me that is a clear sign that we are communicating better every day, and I know we’ll continue to grow closer throughout our engagement and marriage.

And when you got to my place, despite the headache, we had a lovely time just hanging out in bed together snuggling up and talking and laughing. We got to talk about our story the way I always wanted to – lovingly, with genuine feeling that we were on the same page about who we are and how we came to be. I smiled and smiled to the point that tears welled up in my eyes, and you told me you love when I smile.

Yes, things are wonderful, that much I know. I may not be able to do everything I want to every day, in order to be a superhero wife / mother / career woman / athlete / chef / gardener, but I am doing everything I need to be doing overall to prepare for life with you and bring my best self into our marriage. And the most important among those is moments like we had last night, sharing our happiness together.

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